These Kids Today.

Around the area where I live, my community if you will, there are quite a bit of some ill guided children. I’m afraid that they are going to grow up and live miserable worthless lives. So I’ve decided that these kids aren‘t going to go anywhere without some type of guidance and have placed it upon myself to aid in there struggle with life. In the hopes that they might try and strive for something better then what they are destined for. So I have decided to use some examples from my own life so they can get a feel for what it’s like in the real world. But for some reason, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to really connect with them. Well, I guess there’s no point in not trying.

Since last time we’ve talked, I’ve been able to chat with a few of my communities youth. Unfortunately, I’m still a little up in the air as to the effectiveness of my talks. Luckily, I was able to have one of those new travel stenographers accompany me so that I could later examine what I said in the hopes that I could improve. Also, if anyone has any pointers or even compliments. Please feel free to give them. Because these youths need all the help they can get. Well here is the speech I gave to a little boy named Charlie, don’t really know his last name. But he lives in my apartment complex so I thought he would be pretty easy to reach.

Hey, how’s is going boy-O. Charlie right? Well close enough. I was wondering if I could maybe have a little chat with you for a moment. No you haven’t done anything wrong, why would you think that? I just want to have a chat is all. Look we can go down to the pub if you’ll feel more comfortable. No. Okay, well at least come up to my place.

Sorry about the mess. I have some people staying over. Ok, this should only take a moment.
So, your only about what 5, 6.….Or would you rather not say? Well that’s okay. Your young is the point I’m trying to make. Alright, so being one of today’s youths must bring a lot of problems, right? Sometimes you feel as if you really don’t know where you’re going to end up. I was once your age so I can relate. That’s why I invited you up here, to help you get your life on the path to success. Here, take some mini snickers. They are delicious. I’m still amazed they were able to place so much caramel goodness in such small bite sized portions. Which leads me to my next point,

You as a young man, I presume, will get a lot of different urges. And must find a way to fulfill them all. Luckily for us however, there is an entire business out there, were it’s sole purpose is to quell that thirst, that urge for lust. It can be quite useful for someone like yourself, with not that much experience, someone who is still relatively new to the world. Or to someone who has a wife and is not in the very least pleased with her. Yeah she cooks and cleans, takes care of the kids and does all the things that’s associated with her job. But she never takes time out for her husband. She just lets him rot away. And she wonders why we got the divorce. And apparently she still thinks, somewhere in that thick head of hers that she won just because she got the kids.

Anyways, this special business I was talking about can also be used for someone who is, after a messy divorce, now alone and doesn’t have any social skills to speak of. But this priceless commodity isn‘t all fun and giggles. There are a few things that you need to be aware of. Which leads me to the real reason of our discussion.

Trickery, yes trickery. It exists even as you get older. And is even more noticeable in this world of HIV and single mothers. Don’t look at me like that. It’s true. For example. Say you were with one of these…..illegal doctors of pleasure, who you thought was named Michelle, but was actually called Michael. And believe me that’s a situation you do not want to get yourself into. My advice. Ask. Always ask. I don't care if it's a definite women. Always ask. It doesn't even have to be that straight forward. You could be a bit ambiguous about it if you wanted to. You could go with something like, “so miss, got anything betwixt your thighs I should know about.” Now I know that may sound a bit rude but, I’ve saved myself that from that special surprise at least 27 times now. Believe me, one time is plenty. Just imagine if you will, coming home from the pub, you know, you and your partner for the evening are having a night out and you bring her back to your place. And you’ve been drinking quite a bit that night and so things are moving a little too fast and you miss a few signs here and there. Like the adams apple, the bulge and the man hands. As the night progresses, things start to happen that you didn’t anticipate and somehow you end up facing the wall with your lady, or at least what you thought was a lady, friend behind you and that’s when you realize, a bit too late, that you made a grave mistake. One of which has haunted you to this day.

You know what Charlie, I’m glad we could have this talk. It really helped me be able to get some stuff that was tearing away at my soul, off my chest. So if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything. Even if it doesn’t involve a prostitute in drag. I’m right here so come talk to me. Also, if you have any friends who want to come and talk, I’ll be right here. But right now I have to leave. I have a psychiatrist appointment that I have to run off to.

For Your Own Benefit.

They is sort of in line with the last post. But we decided to create one all it's own anyways.

Well, some of you(no one) may remember that last time we met, we made General Greireg our mascot or the person who would be the vision of The Essence Of Awesome. So mascot. However thanks to a lot of help from some outside sources. We have some brand new entries for The Essence Of Awesome. If you would like to use these for any purpose involving the advertising of the site. Please be my guest and use it.





Also, because I feel it to be my civic duty, I shall never post any thing like this if I can help it. Sorry

Public Service Announcement.

The crew here at The Essence Of Awesome have finally determined our mascot to be the one and only. General Kerling Greireg. In case you do not know who he is, there is a pic of him at the bottom. Some(no one) may remember him from Bionuclear Mutation. Now we just have to figure out why we needed a mascot in the first place. If anyone has any suggestions as to what to do with it or even a better mascot. Feel free to give one. For a small fee of coarse.

**Jeffrey Tate's Journal Entry 07/13/01.**

A few weeks ago yesterday, I was going to be throwing one of my exclusive themed parties. Some may call them “drug get downs”. But, I was faced with rather difficult dilemma. It seemed as if I didn’t have enough party favors to accommodate the guests that I would be having. I think it needs to be stated before I continue, that I’m not alluding to, with the italics and quotation marks, anything legal. I just thought, that all of that may have confused some people.
I also only had around 45 minutes before the party. So I had to act fast and SWIFT. If I still wanted to get my fix….of fun and excitement.

Luckily there was a market only a couple minutes from my…well it wasn’t really a house nor was it mine. So place of residence. But, thanks to some questionable construction choices by my town, it would have taken me about, a hour an half to get to the market which would not have been very good. However, thanks to a pleasant shortcut through a deserted graveyard or what most people would call a desert, it's only about a 3 minute walk.

I’ve never really known exactly why the land is referred to as a graveyard when there’s no one there, living or dead. I believe it has something to do with the fact that about 3 and a half years ago there was a slew of murders committed on the land where females, mostly under the age of 21, were found mangled and tortured. They never did catch the culprit. And ever since then, any one who traveled across the land went mysteriously missing. As if there is a way to go missing unmysteriously. Or at least, this is what the crazy hippy told me.

So It's always suggested nay authorized that if you decide to travel through the graveyard, which is the only reasonable way into town, other then the catapult, that you be in the company of a fellow traveler. Well I have never have been one to follow rules very well, so I ventured in alone, unassisted and oddly enough. Really scared. I would soon come to realize that my rebellious 'tude, was not one of a beneficial nature. So I began to walk through the cold, desolate, bleak graveyard and reached the exit in around 3 1/2 minuets. Got the things I needed and came back and threw a pretty ridiculously awesome party…….....O wait you, you thought that there was going to be some kind of horrific tragedy or some forlorn accident while I traveled through the graveyard. Yes...now that I look back at it, it does seem like that would have most likely happened. The description of the graveyard, retelling the history of the graveyard. Even calling the slap of land a graveyard. Yep, certain death did seem inevitable. But um.....no.

I really would like to apologize though for doing such a cruel thing. You probably had your popcorn out ready for some tale of ghosts and the undead and maybe some dismemberment if you were lucky. I feel really bad about this, and I've done some pretty unspeakable things. But why not at least speak about some of them. Let's see....I got a good one. Now this, as of the moment, is purely hearsay but, I once impregnated someone who may not have been legal. But to my defense we were both drunk so don't go waving your finger quite yet.

What's another good one. Um.....no not that one. I'm not even sure I can say that on the internet. And this is the internet. Was fun though. There was also the time I....relieved myself on a children’s choir. And in an attempt to keep it out of the open I, well lets just say I made sure any one around was taking care of. In my defense however, it was quite early in the morning and I had been drinking for the past 6 hours or so. So I was in no shape to walk home or perform any physical activity involving my alcohol saturated body.

That last one, I actually never got into any trouble over. So no one knew of it prior to me telling it.

I know this may seem like an odd change of pace of sorts, but to anyone reading this. Could I have your home address and the times that you are most vulnerable. If anyone has a problem or some kind of inquiry as to why I would require such information, I would love if you could contact me so that we could maybe meet in a more private, deserted setting. I know of a great little spot of land near to where live that would be perfect.

The "critic" who usually occupies this space could not be reached due to unexpected events. We here at the site, just want to wish his family good luck on dealing with their crisis and hope that he can pull through. Which I don't think will be happening.

Who's Got Gravitas?

*Warning: The contents found here may make absolutely no sense if read incorrectly and even correctly. Either way, have fun trying to figure this out. Also, these contents may lead to some internal bleeding *

In the Life we live, things that are "aren't" "are" and things that "are" are most commonly "aren't". With this said, the things that are labeled "is" seem to always be a "isn't" while almost always the things which are "isn't" have a tendency to be a definitive "is".

It is actually a very common thing, especially in the world we live in. We don't even have the right thing to do all these things necessary for all these things needed. However, all things considered, we really don't know whether or not we can all be dutiful for the end of all things to come. That is why we need, without hesitation, all people to have the right and positive outlook on life. That of which is always synonymous with the words of "isn't". Without the serious doubt of hope, we can never have true feelings towards the good of man. In the end, if you have a real motive, a real transition from the "real", than you can overcome any minuscule thing from the most overt.

The question needs to be asked though, "Do the things we do really harm those in the close proximity of us?" I've dealt with these type of things, almost daily. Although, with the present manufactures of man, which are dangerous for all of us, we really can't all be here all of the time. That is why we always need to be vigilant. Without these constant ideas and values, all of our life goals can only be described as a new way to move forward in life, with the new disruptions in the world today that are a hindrance to our well being and purpose. So the closer we get to the end of being true, the farther we get from being stuck in the depths of depression.

This is the exact reason why we all need to be able to distinguish between that which "is" and that which is "isn't". See, this is a crucial fact that is missed so commonly and I cant begin to understand why this is so. All they really need to know is that the world can only support the amount of people that are wiling to contribute to the success of their respective Trade League. It is of the most importance that we all have the idea of awesome and righteousness. Without these key ideas and beliefs, we will never have the correct amount of contributors to society.

This is one of the reasons why there is such a debate over immigration. Yes, they work, however, they're a degeneration to our well being. Caused mostly by their lack of or the rejection towards assimilation. This is a prime example of the "aren't" being produced by an overwhelming "is". This is really only one example from the hundreds that are present today. Without a constant watch of prevalence, this could prove to be a very difficult problem. One of which we don't want to confront in the near future.

I can't however stress enough how much being prepared can help you overcome any type of adversity. Especially the kind that progress the instability of trade and commerce through international nations. Through this ideology , we are guaranteed to have a sufficient amount time to stabilize ourselves. This, in cause and effect, can help to explain the meaning of life. Ain't that some'in.

"Mr. Excelsior. I think I’m almost understanding it. It actually kind of makes sense…sort of. But its still really confusing. When I read it, my head begins to hurt and I start to see my mother who has been dead for years. All while I rock back and forth, in the fetal position, in a corner" To all you freaks and geeks out there, all I have to say is this. It's painfully obvious that you forgot to take the prescribed medication before reading. The bottle should say something along the lines of St. Mary's Special Herbs. That should fix your problem. Or at least do something. I better not have payed $24 for nothing.