**Jeffrey Tate's Journal Entry 07/13/01.**

A few weeks ago yesterday, I was going to be throwing one of my exclusive themed parties. Some may call them “drug get downs”. But, I was faced with rather difficult dilemma. It seemed as if I didn’t have enough party favors to accommodate the guests that I would be having. I think it needs to be stated before I continue, that I’m not alluding to, with the italics and quotation marks, anything legal. I just thought, that all of that may have confused some people.
I also only had around 45 minutes before the party. So I had to act fast and SWIFT. If I still wanted to get my fix….of fun and excitement.

Luckily there was a market only a couple minutes from my…well it wasn’t really a house nor was it mine. So place of residence. But, thanks to some questionable construction choices by my town, it would have taken me about, a hour an half to get to the market which would not have been very good. However, thanks to a pleasant shortcut through a deserted graveyard or what most people would call a desert, it's only about a 3 minute walk.

I’ve never really known exactly why the land is referred to as a graveyard when there’s no one there, living or dead. I believe it has something to do with the fact that about 3 and a half years ago there was a slew of murders committed on the land where females, mostly under the age of 21, were found mangled and tortured. They never did catch the culprit. And ever since then, any one who traveled across the land went mysteriously missing. As if there is a way to go missing unmysteriously. Or at least, this is what the crazy hippy told me.

So It's always suggested nay authorized that if you decide to travel through the graveyard, which is the only reasonable way into town, other then the catapult, that you be in the company of a fellow traveler. Well I have never have been one to follow rules very well, so I ventured in alone, unassisted and oddly enough. Really scared. I would soon come to realize that my rebellious 'tude, was not one of a beneficial nature. So I began to walk through the cold, desolate, bleak graveyard and reached the exit in around 3 1/2 minuets. Got the things I needed and came back and threw a pretty ridiculously awesome party…….....O wait you, you thought that there was going to be some kind of horrific tragedy or some forlorn accident while I traveled through the graveyard. Yes...now that I look back at it, it does seem like that would have most likely happened. The description of the graveyard, retelling the history of the graveyard. Even calling the slap of land a graveyard. Yep, certain death did seem inevitable. But um.....no.

I really would like to apologize though for doing such a cruel thing. You probably had your popcorn out ready for some tale of ghosts and the undead and maybe some dismemberment if you were lucky. I feel really bad about this, and I've done some pretty unspeakable things. But why not at least speak about some of them. Let's see....I got a good one. Now this, as of the moment, is purely hearsay but, I once impregnated someone who may not have been legal. But to my defense we were both drunk so don't go waving your finger quite yet.

What's another good one. Um.....no not that one. I'm not even sure I can say that on the internet. And this is the internet. Was fun though. There was also the time I....relieved myself on a children’s choir. And in an attempt to keep it out of the open I, well lets just say I made sure any one around was taking care of. In my defense however, it was quite early in the morning and I had been drinking for the past 6 hours or so. So I was in no shape to walk home or perform any physical activity involving my alcohol saturated body.

That last one, I actually never got into any trouble over. So no one knew of it prior to me telling it.

I know this may seem like an odd change of pace of sorts, but to anyone reading this. Could I have your home address and the times that you are most vulnerable. If anyone has a problem or some kind of inquiry as to why I would require such information, I would love if you could contact me so that we could maybe meet in a more private, deserted setting. I know of a great little spot of land near to where live that would be perfect.

The "critic" who usually occupies this space could not be reached due to unexpected events. We here at the site, just want to wish his family good luck on dealing with their crisis and hope that he can pull through. Which I don't think will be happening.