Since last time we’ve talked, I’ve been able to chat with a few of my communities youth. Unfortunately, I’m still a little up in the air as to the effectiveness of my talks. Luckily, I was able to have one of those new travel stenographers accompany me so that I could later examine what I said in the hopes that I could improve. Also, if anyone has any pointers or even compliments. Please feel free to give them. Because these youths need all the help they can get. Well here is the speech I gave to a little boy named Charlie, don’t really know his last name. But he lives in my apartment complex so I thought he would be pretty easy to reach.
Hey, how’s is going boy-O. Charlie right? Well close enough. I was wondering if I could maybe have a little chat with you for a moment. No you haven’t done anything wrong, why would you think that? I just want to have a chat is all. Look we can go down to the pub if you’ll feel more comfortable. No. Okay, well at least come up to my place.
Sorry about the mess. I have some people staying over. Ok, this should only take a moment.
So, your only about what 5, 6.….Or would you rather not say? Well that’s okay. Your young is the point I’m trying to make. Alright, so being one of today’s youths must bring a lot of problems, right? Sometimes you feel as if you really don’t know where you’re going to end up. I was once your age so I can relate. That’s why I invited you up here, to help you get your life on the path to success. Here, take some mini snickers. They are delicious. I’m still amazed they were able to place so much caramel goodness in such small bite sized portions. Which leads me to my next point,
You as a young man, I presume, will get a lot of different urges. And must find a way to fulfill them all. Luckily for us however, there is an entire business out there, were it’s sole purpose is to quell that thirst, that urge for lust. It can be quite useful for someone like yourself, with not that much experience, someone who is still relatively new to the world. Or to someone who has a wife and is not in the very least pleased with her. Yeah she cooks and cleans, takes care of the kids and does all the things that’s associated with her job. But she never takes time out for her husband. She just lets him rot away. And she wonders why we got the divorce. And apparently she still thinks, somewhere in that thick head of hers that she won just because she got the kids.
Anyways, this special business I was talking about can also be used for someone who is, after a messy divorce, now alone and doesn’t have any social skills to speak of. But this priceless commodity isn‘t all fun and giggles. There are a few things that you need to be aware of. Which leads me to the real reason of our discussion.
Trickery, yes trickery. It exists even as you get older. And is even more noticeable in this world of HIV and single mothers. Don’t look at me like that. It’s true. For example. Say you were with one of these…..illegal doctors of pleasure, who you thought was named Michelle, but was actually called Michael. And believe me that’s a situation you do not want to get yourself into. My advice. Ask. Always ask. I don't care if it's a definite women. Always ask. It doesn't even have to be that straight forward. You could be a bit ambiguous about it if you wanted to. You could go with something like, “so miss, got anything betwixt your thighs I should know about.” Now I know that may sound a bit rude but, I’ve saved myself that from that special surprise at least 27 times now. Believe me, one time is plenty. Just imagine if you will, coming home from the pub, you know, you and your partner for the evening are having a night out and you bring her back to your place. And you’ve been drinking quite a bit that night and so things are moving a little too fast and you miss a few signs here and there. Like the adams apple, the bulge and the man hands. As the night progresses, things start to happen that you didn’t anticipate and somehow you end up facing the wall with your lady, or at least what you thought was a lady, friend behind you and that’s when you realize, a bit too late, that you made a grave mistake. One of which has haunted you to this day.
You know what Charlie, I’m glad we could have this talk. It really helped me be able to get some stuff that was tearing away at my soul, off my chest. So if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything. Even if it doesn’t involve a prostitute in drag. I’m right here so come talk to me. Also, if you have any friends who want to come and talk, I’ll be right here. But right now I have to leave. I have a psychiatrist appointment that I have to run off to.
