Who The Heck Am I Talking To?

A lot of you have said, or want to say, what a great job I'm doing with.....what I'm doing. And I want to thank you all for this. It means.....well it means a lot. No…no, c'mon guys, I'm trying to be serious here. Can't you just be serious for one second? Ok fine. Two seconds, and that is my final offer.

Fine, I never needed you anyways. What? Well fuck you too then. Here, let me open the door for you. I'd hate to see you do anything that is reasonably within your capabilities to do. Like the one time....no, I think I will start this. Let's just bring up the one incident in the restaurant with the soup? Remember that? No? Didn't think you would. You always had the knack for not being able to remember things about yourself, haven't you?

Why would you think I care would care where you stay? In fact, I'd be much happier if I knew you didn't have a place to stay. Yes. I am kicking you out. So get all your shit and get the hell out of here. Want me to call your parents for you and call and ask if you can stay?

Oh, what's wrong? You need a tissue? Well, while on your way out, I'll be sure to give you one.