The REAL Essence of Awesome.

One day, on a sunny Saturday night, the koala bear named Frank Ebicanezzer Greenfiled Merryman Joeseph, arrived to his destination of Mapleton, Texas, where his girlfriend, the amazing, Pepper Ann Margaret Thatcher the chipmunk, was waiting on his arrival. However, what she didn't know was..was that Frank had hired a pro hitman to axe Pepper for her insurance for Frank had lost in a game of craps for he is but a Koala.

He needed 140,000.87 in order to survive the gangsta mobsters and to pay for the hitman he had hired. Well, Pepper was watching a new episode of The Office, when she heard a knock at her front door. Of coarse she thought it was Frank. But in fact it was Allen Williams Hitchcock, the hired hitman. However, this was not his first choice as a career. He dreamt of being a vetanarian who took care of children with cancer. But things took a turn for the worst and he ended up a hitman.

Well, she let him in the house being a well devote Jehovah witness and all. He told her that he was a dear friend of Frank and wanted to know if he could stay and wait for him and asked if he could use the bathroom. She said "darn tootin you can use that there lav" Pepper wasn't southern mind you but, the unneccassrily large amount of time watching "Paula's home cooking" on food network, had created one.

In the car, which was located in an abritary unlocated locarion, Frank was calling Allen and asked if he was in position for the operation. When Allen replied with "yes'm" for Allen also enjoyed the culinary excellence of Paula, Frank hung up immediately for he was with a cheap Brazilian hooker named Barberina Gouchen. Her greatest dream was one of happy days and bright sun. But when she decided not to watch Arrested Development which has its Series Finale Friday, Feb 10th on fox, and the fact that she killed a German cop, for Barb was actually German, but with a good tan and magnificent plastic surgery, done by Dr. Anderson who can be found on the corner of 156th and 256 in down town NY, anything is possible.

Well, with being hanged up on so abruptly and feeling flustered, Allen reached the point where he didn't want to go through with the "operation" coded "operation: easy fly through murky days in the waters on Florida". He then remembered why, why he was doing this and that heart worming reason being.....cuz he was a freaking cold blooded killer with a hankerin for killing and a slight attraction to the opposite sex.

Look. I'm running late for a party so, Allen killed pepper, got away with it and then moved to whyoming where he killed himself because of lonliness. All the other characters forgot about everything that happened and lived happily ever after.

"Mr.Sexypants. This is pretty awesome. However it makes no sense" To you skepticss, I say. fibble dibble who whooo nanny foo now give the dog an onion and stop your belly aching on the planet of cratos. Now what doesn't make sense. Choose carefully. I dare you.

The Essence of Awesome

Well folks, this is my very first blog and boy golly is this exciting. Well, right now i'm listening to Bowie and drinking my mocca latte with lite foam and I have my dog, scrappers on my lap and he's chewing his play toy ball. I decided to name him scrappers because I ha.....Wait, this sucks. This isn't awesome at all. "But Mr.Coolness, I thought you said that this is suppose to be all awesome randomness?" I know Tommy, I did say that and thank you for pointing that out. Wait I think i've got it!