What Did You Just Say?

As many of you may already know, I'm always trying to help our posterity prosper. I believe that they’re the way to the future and all that other jumble wumble hippy talk. I mean, I bought about 12 of them in Africa. So don’t try and tell me that I don’t care.
So this is why I’ve set out to help today’s young ones, with their serious problem with our English language. Statistics show that around 73% of people under the age of 17, don’t know what an apostrophe is. I see this as an utter catastrophe. And 54% of people under 14 can’t even spell blasphemy. So don’t you see?

It’s only a matter of time until we’re using pictures again to communicate. It’s up to me and even you all, to, for lack of a better term, nip this little problem in the urethra. Which is much more effective then the bud. Because I’ll be damned if I ever have to go back to using a drawing of a middle finger to express my anger towards someone.

I haven’t yet been able to decipher why this is so. But these kids, our young ones, our future, refuse, absolutely will not use the words that were expertly crafted for our daily use….correctly.

Take the word “mad” for instance. Now to everyone with….intelligence. Not saying that these kids don’t have any though. This word is most commonly used to express ones anger towards someone or even something. And according to my good friend Encarta, who actually is throwing a rather large and probably extravagant dinner party. You should all really come. It’s probably going to be a ton of fun.

mad [mad]
adj (comparative mad·der, superlative mad·dest)
1. very angry: affected by great displeasure or anger
Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

But for some unexplainable reason, “mad” now has some new meaning. But this so called “new meaning” it has…..makes no sense whatsoever. I can understand how, a word that’s been used for, almost ever, how it may not make sense that all of a sudden, it could now have a new connotation. So let me give you an example of what I mean.

“I received mad admiration, a fort night ago at the game.” Now, with the use of mad here, the speaker isn’t even trying to express any anger. But instead, the speaker is attempting to emphasize the vast amount of admiration he received. At I guess some type of sporting event. However, the word mad, doesn’t have any type of number associated with it. Sort of like how dozen means 12. Now, if the example, instead went something like “I received grand amounts of admiration, a fort night ago at the game.” This other, more reasonable way, isn’t only more reasonable but it also allows for the speaker to stay hip and in with his pals.

Now I’m a fairly reasonable, understanding guy. Maybe I’m just taking this too far out of context. It could just be a replacement for a lot. In which case, you should just use a lot. I mean, It’s there for a reason. It’s one thing to completely change the entire meaning of a word. But to neglect another is……well I’d rather not start down that rabbit hole.

I Do Only What I Can.

If you were given all the money you could ever want, what would you do with it? Would you give it to charity? Would you keep it all for yourself? Or would you throw it away and continue to live a meager, worthless life?

Well unfortunately, I can't give you the answer to that question and neither can anyone else. That is a answer you have to make for yourself. No one can answer but you. And I'll tell you why. You see, we live in a world where everyone has the ability to rise to the top. If, that is, they have necessary items. One being a fair bit of power. Either attained through having….power or money. In, some and usually most cases, both.

If everyone could answer for you, then why would you even need to live. You could just sit back and let everything happen. Of coarse that would not be very fun at all. If that was the case then everything that our forefathers did, would just be in vain. If our lives were not given the full and up most attention that they deserve then, we really shouldn't even be alive. I know that may sound a little pessimistic but hear me out. And please just pay attention.

What was that? I’ll have you know that I have an associates in psychology so I think I know what I'm talking about. Give me some credit. I didn't go to the best community college that financial aid can buy for nothing. I know I didn’t spend a few months of my life at fcc so I could be mocked. And Billy…..Billy, what are you doing. Just put the stapler down. Well I don’t care what Tom said. Does Tom have a stapler in his hands. No. So go sit down and listen. I spent all night writing this speech. Granted I only came up with a couple sentences, but that’s not the point.

Now that I have your attention, what do some of you think of the continually declining structure of our society. Hmmm? Well just to get you started. What do some of you think the outcome will be with the whole gay marriage issue. Does anyone think that this will actually destroy the sanctity of marriage. Yeah, Cathy, you have some thing to say………yes you can go to the lavatory. Don’t forget the hallpass.

Anyone. Your all going to tell me that all of you have absolutely no thoughts on this subject. Your all sitting here with no objections, no views. That’s just…..

But we don’t have all day to delve on topics that are most important to the well being of our country. God forbid I try and make sure that we are prepared for what is to come. But whatever.

Ok. Who’s ready for finger painting.