A Totally True Story. Totally.

Oh man guys....and girls, because sexists are WRONG. I just had the absolute worse, terrible, awful day at the place where I spend most of my time during the day. Allow me to clarify because I can see some of you are looking at me a little awkwardly. You all know that when you’re a kid, some where around the ages of say 0-2 or something, that you have to go to a day care type of thing if your mother is useless.

At my day care today, not that I have ownership over it or anything, this creep/poopyhead named Tommy Von Youngbok, stole my cookie. It was one of those cookies that you can’t get in any store too. My mommy had to order specially from Paris. Damn thing cost 2 Euros too, which is like $68 or something.
Anyways, I was eating my cookie because it was snack time and everything ya know, and we had just finished with nap time so I was really hungry. Then this doofus drags his fat tokus over to my cubby, where I was enjoying my awesome cookie, then bludgeons me over the head and stole my cookie. I knew those pansy teachers that they have now weren’t going to do anything
So I just had to get revenge. So I followed him home to find out where he lived. That night I planned the greatest revenge ever to be known by mankind. The next morning I told my mommy that I was sick and so I got to stay home from day care. Around 2 O’clock or so, I asked my mommy to go to the store to get some formula. Little did she know however that the formula I wanted wasn't available anywhere so that would be sure to keep her busy for awhile. With her gone it was time to make my move.

I followed the route I had mapped out the day before to Tommy's house. I planted the TNT I had purchased from eBay on all the structure supports in his home and waited for him to arrive back home. It was strangely eerie how it all was. Was my plan really this fool proof? Did I fall for some type of trap?

To be blunt, it wasn’t a trap of any kind and I now have a warrant out for my arrest. So I guess it wasn’t completely fool proof. If I had just factored in the fact that everything I would have been doing would be “classified” as “illegal” then there’s no doubt that I would have gotten away with it.