Hard Day At The Job.

In the news today, a great white was found off the coast of the Antarctic. He was brought in for the possession of questionable material. When asked about the items in question, the shark had this to say “I’m just holding them for my good friend, Buddy who’s out on vacation”. The authorities were aware of the definite lie that was told because it was common knowledge that this shark had no friends and still lived with his mother. Which is a poor sight indeed, just ask my mother. When the shark’s attorney was questioned, he had this to say, “I don’t know why they are targeting my client, when it’s all his friends junk.” The reporters, when hearing this, all broke out into a fit of laughter. The friend in question could not be reached for questioning.
OH! You know what that loud shrieking, ear deafening sound is right? That sound means it’s time for our slogan of the week. This weeks slogan is from Alzheimer’s Medication and Therapy. Their slogan, “When you need to know your name, we got you covered.” O. It brings tears to my now desolate ducts.
In other news today, Yugoslavian prime minister, untranslatable into english, was found guilty in the Brazilian courts this week for the decapitation of his deceased pet, Furball. What freaks…the Yugoslavians are.
Now with sports, our own Jon Jacklebarrysmit.
:Hey Alex, well today was a fabulous day in sports. First, we have an interview with league MPV Mar…
:Thank you Jon for that wonderful report. In other news tonight, Sherry Ann was finally found…
:Hey, what the hell, I’m still suppose to talk about the NBA finals and we have this funny little thing with steroids. I mean, I still got like 15 minutes here.
:Exactly
:You know what. F U Alex. F U
:Well Jon, I would hit you up with a “that’s what she said” but that would make entirely no sense. O, alright, I’m being told to keep this coco train a moving. So, here’s your local meteorologist, Kenny Burnstein with the weather.
:How ya’s doin Alex.
:Hey Ken. Well, I see that you still have that English problem.
:Um…sure. Well, tha weathea…won’t be presented for yous guys todaee because the station has again, neglected my need fo a Doppla Rader, green screen and map. Things, essential for a weather report. So it’s weird that I don’t have them.
:Well, maybe better luck next time. And Ken, I’ve wanted to ask you, how exactly did you become a meteorologist?
:You really have to ask this over the air?
:Yes
:I went to college. Like most other meteorologist.
:O really. I always thought that you were some bum that sort of just wandered into the station asking for a job and that’s why they gave you the worst job here. Huh. My bad then I guess. Well that wraps up this weeks broadcast. Thanks for watching and have a pleasant….Wait, Jon what are you doing?…No, don’t do this, I mean you have your whole life ahead of you and what about Jane? What would she do with me…with you gone. We can make a deal here can’t we. For goodness sake, we’re on national television right now. You can’t just kill me. O…maybe you can.


"Mr.Hillkilln, What is going on. Before you had stuff that was ok but not funny at all. This had me actually laughing. What did you do?" To all you critics all I have to say is, It's unimaginable how little the amount of drugs you need to tweek out. I recommend 15mls of KFBT. Just be prepared for a fun time.