**Have You Ever Heard Little Red Riding Hood.....On Weed?**

Hey kids, today we have a story about a little cherry bear named Little Cherry Bear Ann Jenkins. But, his friends just called him LCBAJ for short. But for our purposes, we'll just refer to him as Cherry.

Well, Cherry was out in the cannabis patch, getting ready for another farming season when his mother called him into the house. When he was finally done preparing the crops and went in, his mother handed him 43.57 and told him to pick something up from the store for his aunt. However, Little Cherry had little to no idea what he was to get, so he started to leave, intent on using the money for the removal of his tumor. But then his mother told him that he would find clues about what to get for his aunt. It looked like Cherry would just have to keep fighting a little longer.

Lucky for Cherry's aunt, Cherry enjoyed a good mystery especially tough ones that took a lot of thought, perseverance, determination and intelligence. Unfortunately, the clue was a post-it note that his mom gave him, which told him to go the super store and get some soft hard candy for his aunt, hopefully to cure her raging STDs.

Cherry had to travel through the forest of banished fairies so he could get to the store, which was located adjacent to the mall and perpendicular to the strip mall. Unfortunately, Cherry had smoked a blunt before leaving so instead of heading to the store and buying the magic candy, he instead, wandered into an alley and fell asleep in a pile of garbage. This led to his aunt never receiving the candy, thus dying of an over infestation of crabs. Cherry was also mugged and raped in the alley.

So, the moral of the story is, don't do drugs or your skanky aunt will die. So the real moral of the story, don't have a sexual encounter with your STD ridden aunt without some form of protection, preferably, cow hide. That way everything will be smooth sailings. GOOOOO Incest.


"Mr.Merry-Go-Round, I think there may be something seriously wrong with you. I recommend some sort of doctor to look at you, maybe a therapist. It looks like you have had some serious problems growing up. It seems you have quite a few emotional scars." All I have to say to all you people with your feelings and concerns is, please read the disclaimer at the top. It says right there in the ancient German, that none of the things here reflect the views of the author. And if you are too ignorant to realize that the title is a reference to Half Baked, specifically the scene containing the god, Jon Stewart, then please do something along the lines of dislodging yourself from the material world. Well that seems like a nice way to end things. A threat to my already limited audience.